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Can My Love Life Be Helped? - Make An Attempt To Determine What You Really Are Doing Wrong
I've been counseling people for 35 years. Quite often folks come in for help wondering if it's really possible to save or boost their love life.
Maybe their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Maybe their partner is an alcoholic or drug addict. What are their chances of saving their relationship?
Because two people always get together at their common degree of woundedness, here is what I say to the lover who has sought my help:
So long as you choose to stay in this relationship, there are things for you to discover. Each partner contributes their 100% to the relationship. When it is often simple to see what your partner is doing that's dangerous to the relationship, it really is often difficult to see what you're doing.
Yet, until you learn about your part in this relationship system, you'll take your own dysfunctional behavior with you into another relationship. It is typically a waste of time - unless there's physical abuse - to leave a romantic relationship before healing your own end of the system.
The time to leave is whenever you have learned to make yourself happy regardless of what your mate is doing. Whenever you learn to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and if your dating partner is still behaving in ways that happen to be unacceptable to you, then it is time to leave.
You'll want to discover how to respond to your dating partner in ways that are loving to yourself and that support your own joy and highest good.
When the partner who's available to counseling does his or her inner work, one of two things occurs. Either the other partner likes what's happening and becomes much more open, or the relationship becomes a lot more distant and difficult.
I tell my clients that it's a 50-50 deal - half the time things get better and half the time they get worse. They need to be okay with either end result. In fact, I make them let go of the outcome and simply be in the process of studying ways to take loving care of themselves.
Can your love life be helped? Perhaps. Do your own inner work and find out! Or you'll be able to do what most guys do. Most guys get girl advice on the internet from dating guru's like mystery pua and his effective mystery method.
Love and educate yourself so that you can do exactly the same for other people.
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